its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
