i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
