I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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