help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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