You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize