He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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