Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think my moral compass just broke
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
