She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
