This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
