Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize