I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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