why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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