There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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