Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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