where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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