Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
