i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize