Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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