Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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