i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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