Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
