Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize