Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
