I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
