i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize