you win again, gameday.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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