apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Every concussion has its silver lining
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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