no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I could fuck to npr.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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