She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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