there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
