I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My pussy is not your playground.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
