just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
