Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
