i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
