it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
