u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
