I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize