Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
