So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
