worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
