You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
