i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
