I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
