I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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