I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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