Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is her dick bigger than yours?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
