I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
