I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
