every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
