my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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