I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
