May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
