NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
