I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
