Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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