i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
