This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
