i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
